Communication | Connect to HR | Strategic HR Advisors & Executive Coaching

Archive for Communication

Help Prevent Workplace Violence: Be Aware

It’s no secret that we are living in stressful times. Inflation, ongoing concerns about COVID, political and racial divide, anxiety around returning to the office after months of isolation…the list goes on. Sadly, some of this frustration has led to heinous acts of violence such as the tragedy in Uvalde, Texas, and the many others since then.

Everyday situations turned deadly.

This calls on us all to be more aware of our surroundings – whether at large public events or at the smaller venues where we learn, where we play, where we shop, where we worship.

And where we work.

If you see something, say something. You may prevent someone from harming others or from harming himself/herself.

Pay attention when a coworker’s behavior or demeanor suddenly changes. Check in with them. Maybe they just need someone to talk to. If you’re not comfortable doing that or they resist, consult with your manager or HR. If you see behaviors that are particularly alarming – bullying, threats (face-to-face or in writing), etc. – contact HR immediately. If you perceive that you or others are in immediate danger, call your security team or the police.

The hotline number for Workplace Violence Prevention and Response is: 1.877.987.3747.

Often, we get so busy with the multiple obligations we have – work, home, family – that we don’t notice the human interactions around us. Pay attention.

And leaders, if you are faced with or become aware of a potential harmful situation, send security or someone trained to deal with such incidents rather than putting staff members in that position.

There are a number of preventive measures that organizations can take to reduce the possibility of violent and harmful situations in the workplace. We’ll talk about those in my next article.

If you need help preparing for or dealing with employee issues, please contact me at michelle@connecttohr.com

Supporting a DEI Culture Through Coaching

Creating a strong DEI culture doesn’t happen overnight.

Even when senior leaders implement all the suggestions I’ve made in my last two articles (catch up with them here and here) there will be those leaders and employees who have a hard time outgrowing baked-in biases and ways of communicating.

Such was the case with one of my coaching clients. Although his team praised him as a leader who supported them and had no problem pitching in to help when things needed to get done, they also described him as someone who was often insensitive and judgmental, making assumptions about people based on preconceived notions rather than actual evidence.

This is called unconscious bias. “Unconscious” because often we don’t even realize that we are making judgments about someone’s abilities, intelligence, experience, credibility, etc., based on factors that have nothing to do with those qualities. The first step in overcoming these biases is to be made aware of them and the impact they have on others.

In this client example, I was brought in to help my client develop awareness around his communication style, his leadership style and the impact that both had on the people who worked for him and with him. We used a 360-assessment tool, which gives stakeholders the opportunity to comment on the leader’s strengths and areas for development. The 360 is a very powerful tool because it helps leaders develop self-awareness while giving stakeholders (direct reports, colleagues, and the person’s leadership) the ability to provide feedback anonymously. Leaders need honest feedback from various sources to be able to learn and grow.

A key requirement for an effective leadership coaching engagement is for the leader to be coachable. In this case my leader/client was very responsive to the feedback. He recognized that he often made snap judgments and that sometimes his communication style could be interpreted as insensitive. In addition to our coaching sessions, he also completed a DEI training class.

At the end of our coaching engagement, I performed a follow-up assessment to determine (from stakeholders) how he was implementing what he’d learned and to identify and create a plan for areas for continued growth. I was pleased to learn that stakeholders saw marked improvement in his self-awareness and in better adapting his communication style. They also remarked that he had implemented practices that he learned in the DEI training.

Effective leaders continue to learn and grow and one of the ways to do that is through Executive Coaching. Contact me today at michelle@connecttohr.com and let’s discuss how my coaching services can help the leaders in your organization.

Onboarding New Hires in a Hybrid Work Environment

A positive onboarding experience is and always has been key to the success (and retention!) of new hires. Yet a 2019 Gallup poll found that “after experiencing onboarding at their organization, only 29% of new hires say that they feel fully prepared and supported to excel in their new role.” And that was before a global pandemic, a mostly remote workforce, and The Great Resignation.

Effective onboarding is now more important than ever. Many of the employees hired over the past two years have not met their teammates in person, or walked down the corporate hallways, or chatted with a fellow employee at the coffee station.

So, how do you convey the company culture and create team connections in a hybrid work environment?

Here are some tips.

Provide all new hires with a company Orientation that includes information about the company history, mission, vision, goals, and objectives. Talk about the culture and give examples of how it’s demonstrated internally and externally. Consider having (positive) long-time employees share their experiences relative to the culture. Be sure to allow time for introductions, interactions and questions.

Promote connections. Create opportunities for new hires to connect one-on-one with other team members – via Zoom, or, if practical, via scheduled in person meetings.

Add a personal touch. Millennials and Gen Z new hires in particular expect a high touch onboarding experience. One way to do this is to assign a “buddy” or mentor to help the new hire get oriented to the new company. This is especially important for summer interns/college students who are being onboarded remotely. They need an assigned 1:1 person who is not their manager to help them learn the ropes and to be available to answer questions.

Communicate. Before the new hire’s first day be sure that they have the equipment they need and that their email is set up and working. Send out an announcement to the rest of the team with the new hire’s name, role and a brief bio. Designate a team member(s) to send the new hire a “welcome” message on or before their first day. Be sure the new hire is looped in to all company-wide communications.

Consistently demonstrate the culture. Culture is more than just perks. It’s how leadership and employees demonstrate company values, how they treat one another, how they treat customers, vendors, etc.

Involve the new hire’s leader. The new hire’s leader plays a key role in acclimating them to the organization. According to Microsoft research, when managers played an active role in their new hire’s onboarding, employees were 3.5 times more likely to say they were satisfied with their onboarding experience. They were also 1.2 times more likely to feel that they were contributing to their team’s success.

Remember, employee retention starts on Day 1.

Courtesy Never Goes Out of Style!

One of the frustrations I’ve heard from hiring managers is the increased number of incidents of candidate “ghosting,” that is, not showing up for interviews, not returning calls, and not responding in a timely manner to a verbal or even a written offer. In some cases, accepting offers and then never showing up for their first day on the job.

Job seekers: common courtesy never goes out of style, even in a market when job seekers have the upper hand.

I’ve learned over my many years in HR that this is a very small valley. Recruiters talk. Hiring managers talk. Colleagues talk. Don’t burn employment bridges.

One recruiter shared with me that she had called to remind the candidate about the interview the day before the appointed time. He said he would be there. She called again two hours before the interview. Again, he confirmed. The interview time came and went. The candidate didn’t show. Not only that, he did not call or even send an email to explain or to apologize.

Skipping an interview, not responding to phone calls and emails, and not following up are just plain rude.

As I said in my last article, BE HONEST. If you are close to the offer stage with another company, let the hiring manager know. If you decide you don’t want to interview with a company – let them know before your scheduled interview (ideally 24 hours before the interview).

Another recruiter shared a positive story with me about a candidate who, a couple of days before the interview, called to say she’d thought about the position and realized that it didn’t align with what she really wanted to do. She politely thanked the recruiter for the opportunity. This advance notice saved everyone time and effort and left the recruiter with a positive impression of the candidate.

After an interview, always, always send a thank you note to the hiring manager, HR and anyone else you spoke to. Written thank you notes are ideal, but email is also acceptable. Just send one.

And while we’re on this topic, I’ve also heard from job seekers I’ve worked with that they’ve gotten far into the hiring process – several interviews, indication that they were one of the top two candidates for the role…and then nothing.

Courtesy works both ways. When you, as a hiring manager or recruiter, make a selection from the final few, you need to inform those who were not selected. Yes, it’s hard to let someone down, but it is much better than leaving them hanging. You don’t have to go into details. Thank them for their interest and their time and wish them the best in their search. Again, this is a small valley and bad hiring process experiences very often end up on Glassdoor.

Be courteous!

Managing Employee Post-Election Anxiety

Adding to the many challenges we’ve experienced so far this year are the prolonged and now disputed election results. The country is clearly divided, and the uncertainty is only increasing our already elevated stress levels.

Sadly, this trickles down to the workplace. Because we are so divided and our environment is so politically charged, conflict and emotions are bound to emerge in the workplace. So, as a leader, how do you help your employees work through it?

I recently attended a roundtable led by my colleague, Susan Nelson, Founder, The Pragmatic Life. One of the topics we discussed was the anxiety coming to the workplace regarding the election results. In addition to leading an enlightening discussion, Susan and her guest, Maureen Berkner Boyt, Founder, Moxie Exchange, shared some tips on how leaders and organizations can help employees through the post-election transition period. Here are some highlights from the roundtable discussion:

Anchor everything to your core values and standards of conduct

Most organizations include “respect” as one of their core values. Remind your employees that demonstrating that value means you respect other people’s opinions even if they differ from your own. It also means that you express your opinions in a respectful manner.

Provide resources to help them work through their emotions.

Offer more productive ways to have discussions, again, tying it back to core values. You will probably not prevent people from talking about politics, but give them tools to dial down their emotions during these conversations. Many companies offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAP). Be sure employees know how to take advantage of this benefit.

Communicate and be present.

Acknowledge that the current situation is unusual and the uncertainty is stressful. Check in on individuals to see how they are doing. Listen, and model the respectful behavior you expect from them.

Remind employees about the importance of maintaining relationships.

We talk a lot about diversity, well, that includes diversity of opinions. Encourage employees to put their relationships with colleagues first, and respect the fact that not everyone is going to agree about everything.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you need help working through this with your employees.

Leading Through the Drama in Challenging Times

In every organization there is a certain amount of “office drama.” In fact, studies show that, on average, employees spend about 2 hours a day on drama – conflict with other employees, grumbling about leaders, expressing frustration about work assignments or company policies, etc.

And it should come as no surprise that office drama has increased this year. There are several contributing factors:

Organizations are asked to do more with less
As employees work from home the lines are blurred between work and home life
A national sense of aggressiveness is flowing down into the workplace

So how do you lead through the drama during this challenging time? And how do you disarm those who prefer to live in the drama even in the best of times?

I recently attended a (virtual) presentation entitled, “Reality-Based Leadership – How to Peacefully and Effectively Lead Teams Through Transformative Times.” The facilitator was Alex Dorr, Vice President of People Evolution at Reality-Based Leadership.

Here are some key takeaways from that session that I think are valuable for every leader to consider.

Employee engagement is more critical than ever. About 70% of employees are quitting their jobs in their mind every day. They’re not actually quitting – yet. But the fact that they’re thinking about it means they are less engaged and more likely to get caught up in employee drama.

Complaining increases endorphins. Think about it. When you vent or “let off steam” by dumping your problems or issues on someone else you feel better. And it’s much easier than coming up with a solution and taking action.

Help employees be self-reflective. When employees come to you with problems or complaints, encourage them to envision a solution. First let them vent. Then let them know you heard them. Then ask, “What would an acceptable solution look like?” Put on your coaching hat and ask questions to help them be part of the solution.

Use the SBAR approach. (Situation, Background, Analysis, Recommendation). Teach employees that if they have a concern or want change, before they come to you, they should have an SBAR. This is a short statement that describes the situation (S) and explains why it is happening now and how it needs to look different in the future (B). It also includes best practices, data, and policies that provide insight and support the change (A). And finally, it includes 2 or 3 recommendations (R) that the employee proposes.

Discover your desired role – as leader. Don’t jump in with an immediate solution. Ask questions – coach – to make this a development opportunity and clarify the role the employee wants you to play. Ask: How do you want me to help? Just listen? Help you think through each of your recommendations? Make additional recommendations?

Gain commitment. Whatever you decide to do to move forward, make sure that both of you – leader and employee – are clear on what the commitment is before leaving the meeting.

Model the behavior. Don’t be part of the drama. Demonstrate that you also take time for self-reflection and that you are capable of just stepping back and letting employees take action to create their own solutions.

If you have leaders who tend to get caught up in the drama, executive coaching can be helpful. Please contact me at michelle@connecttohr.com.

Virtual Meeting Etiquette – Tips for Successful Connections

Video conferencing has become the new normal for team meetings. While virtual meetings offer many advantages – no commute, no need to dress up, a way to safely “see” team members – they do come with certain drawbacks. In fact, many people are finding themselves in more virtual meetings now than they were in in-person meetings in the past. “Zoom-fatigue” is a growing phenomenon. And as a result, many participants have relaxed their meeting behaviors.

So, as a leader, how do you keep your team engaged and make these virtual meetings more successful?

Here are some tips.

Set the example. Be fully engaged as you lead the meeting and when others are speaking. Remember that your facial expressions are always visible to all participants. Be courteous and mindful of words and expressions that may be misinterpreted. In a virtual setting, you don’t have the opportunity to clarify your intent in the hallway after the meeting.

Keep meetings to a reasonable length. Try to keep meetings to 45 minutes or less. If a longer session is needed, break it up. Add a short stretch break or move participants into breakout rooms so they can engage in smaller groups. Start and end on time. Have an agenda. Strive to engage participants by asking for feedback, questions, ideas.

Allow time for personal connections. Start with a “check in” or brief icebreaker. Many are feeling a sense of isolation during this challenging time. Watch for signs that a team member might be struggling and make a point of reaching out to them individually after the meeting. Also, encourage team members to connect individually outside of the full team meetings.

Be present and be positive. Remember to praise in public and criticize in private.

Vary the medium. Consider having every other meeting via teleconference instead of video conference. Or have a safe, socially-distanced group meeting outside.

Communication is key. Working remotely, team members may not feel as plugged in to what’s happening in the organization, with their other team members, or on a team project. As a result, they may disengage. Be as transparent as possible and give them the opportunity to ask questions and discuss their concerns or fears.

Promote balance. Studies indicate that productivity has increased with employees working at home. The downside of this is that it could lead to burnout. Give your team members periodic reminders that they should create a boundary between work and home life for their mental and physical health. Share how you do it to set the example.

Need support in leading during these challenging times? Contact me at michelle@connecttohr.com to learn about our Executive Coaching services.

The Best Leaders Continue to Learn

It’s easy to get complacent once you’ve reached the top. You’ve worked hard to get there and now you’re ready to guide others as they work toward achieving team and organizational goals. But here’s the thing. Change is constant – challenges, the work environment, people, goals, business needs – and unless you keep learning you will not be prepared to effectively respond to those changes.

So, what are the skills that are important to continue to develop?

If you look at the myriad lists of “top” skills and competencies for leaders (and there are many of them!) there are several skills that consistently bubble to the top: strategic thinking, effective communication, interpersonal skills, a desire to develop others. These are some of the traditional skills that make an effective leader. But there are some additional skills that have become increasingly important over the past few years as we look at a new way of working in the 21^st century. Skills like emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and collaboration.

There was a time when “emotions” did not enter into workplace conversations, at least not in a positive way. Leaders managed actions, not emotions. Today, however, emotional intelligence, or EQ – the ability to recognize and manage your own emotions as well as those of others – is seen as perhaps the most essential skill to succeed as a leader.

One of the elements of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. Leaders who are self-aware, who know their strengths and are willing to admit the areas where they need development, tend to have stronger, more trusting relationships with their teams and colleagues. Self-awareness means understanding your strengths, and also recognizing behaviors that may be working against you. In a previous blog, Your Personal Best Starts with Self-Awareness, I talked about how certain “triggers” in our environment may prevent us from performing at our best. Learning to identify and manage our response to those triggers helps us grow as leaders.

Another element of emotional intelligence is empathy. Although we’re not seeing it demonstrated much on the national stage, empathy has been called THE skill for the 21^st Century.

Empathy is described as “the ability to understand, recognize and appreciate the way others are feeling, even if it is different from what you are feeling.” A more visual description is from the book To Kill A Mockingbird, when Atticus Finch says, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

Learning to understand someone else’s point of view – to figure out “where they’re coming from” – has myriad benefits in the workplace and in life in general. It improves interpersonal relationships, teamwork, negotiations, collaboration, sales, customer service, even parenting! And the good news is, as I discussed in a previous blog, Empathy: An Essential Skill for Leaders, empathy can be learned!

Often when we talk about leadership and communication, the focus is on the leader as a provider of information – vision, goals, feedback, updates, solutions – and how frequently and forthrightly that information is provided. But communicating effectively as a leader is more than just giving information. It’s about listening to your employees and conveying that you heard and understood. It’s about ensuring that your tone and body language are in sync with your words.

Leaders who demonstrate to their employees and their teams that they listen – really listen – build trust, promote engagement and inspire loyalty. In a previous blog, Are You Listening? Really Listening? I gave some tips on how to be a better listener.

As I work with leaders in the executive coaching side of my business, my goal is to help them become the best leader they can be. And that always starts from a place of helping them develop self-awareness and promoting continuous learning.

Are you, or is someone in your organization looking to improve their effectiveness as a leader? Contact me for a free consultation to learn about the benefits of coaching.

Building Trust Through “Conversational Intelligence”

As leaders, we each have multiple conversations throughout our day. A one-on-one with an employee. A strategy meeting with our team. A performance issue discussion with HR. A budget update with our own leader. And so on.

We typically enter these conversations with a preset notion of how they’ll turn out. Or how we want them to turn out. Yet how often does that preset notion – assumption – go out the window once the conversation gets underway? What we wanted or expected – our intention – does not match the other person’s intention and communication breaks down.

How does that happen?

In her book, Conversational Intelligence, Judith E. Glaser, organizational anthropologist and Founder and CEO of CreatingWE, explains it:

“Breakdowns happen when you and I think we are talking to each other, but we are really talking past each other. We are so engrossed in what we have to say that we don’t realize we are carrying on our own monologues, not dialogues. When we are conversationally blind, our conversations often go off track because we see the world from our own perspective and not from the other person’s.”

One of the most important steps in becoming an effective leader is to develop trusting relationships – with your individual employees, with your team, with your peers, and with your own leadership. Developing that trust comes partly from your actions – doing what you say you’re going to do – and partly from how you communicate with others, or as Glaser calls it, your “Conversational Intelligence.”

“Conversations are multidimensional, not linear,” Glaser says. “What we think, what we say, what we mean, what others hear, and how we feel about it afterward are the key dimensions behind Conversational Intelligence. Though conversations are not simply “ask and tell” levels of discourse, we often treat them as though they are.”

Conversational Intelligence is an organization’s ability to communicate in ways that create a shared concept of reality. “It’s about closing the gaps between your reality and mine. As such, it can yield improved business results and create a framework for enhancing relationships and partnerships, releasing new energy for growth and transformation.”

So how do we develop and improve our Conversational Intelligence?

Glaser says that the first step is creating a healthy, trusting environment. “When intentions are set on bridging our realities, being open and transparent, focusing on respect and relationships before tasks, listening to understand, discovering shared success and consistently working to narrow the reality gaps, we are exercising our conversational muscles. When we do that, we are much more likely to achieve organizational goals and perhaps our personal ones as well.”

“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw

Successful Leaders Listen More, Talk Less

Successful business leaders know that to engage employees, meet customer needs, and stay ahead in the marketplace they need to listen more than they talk.

Take Richard Branson, for example, billionaire founder of Virgin Group, who says: “Listen more than you talk. Nobody learned anything by hearing themselves speak. I am endlessly surprised by what new and useful information I can gather just by keeping my ears open.”

In a LinkedIn post Branson said: “We have two ears and one mouth, using them in proportion is not a bad idea! To be a good leader you have to be a great listener. Brilliant ideas can spring from the most unlikely places, so you should always keep your ears open for some shrewd advice. This can mean following online comments as closely as board meeting notes, or asking the frontline staff for their opinions as often as the CEOs. Get out there, listen to people, draw people out and learn from them.”

Research bears out that effective communication (which includes listening!) is tied to success. A recent study showed that companies with more effective communicators had 47% higher total returns to shareholders over the last 5 years compared to companies with less effective communicators.

President Barack Obama is known as a great communicator, usually in reference to his polished speaking skills. But he also knows, and demonstrates, the value of being a great listener – someone who quietly and thoughtfully listens to different points of view. In his 2016 commencement address to Howard University, he advised graduates: “There will be times when you shouldn’t compromise your core values, your integrity, and you will have the responsibility to speak up in the face of injustice. But listen. Engage. If the other side has a point, learn from them.”

Great listeners have the ability to make the other person feel as if they’re the only one in the room. Former President Bill Clinton was well known for his listening skills. It’s been said about him that, “He has the ability to connect with an audience and then turn around and make the person who was helping with the slideshow feel like they’re the most important person there.”

Make a point every day to listen more than you speak. Listen to employees – their feedback, their ideas, their concerns. Listen to customers – their needs and feedback may prompt your next innovative product or service, or help you improve existing offerings. And listen to what’s happening in the marketplace, you never know where the next great idea will come from.

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” –Doug Larson